Tell a friend

WHO AM I

Latest Medical News from Bio-Medicine.Org

Latest Biology News from Bio-Medicine.Org

<bgsound src="your_sound_file"></bgsound>

GAME

Search This Blog

gupshup

game play

s

tinychat

donut chat

CRIMINAL

jia

9205 5532008
http://www.rupeemail.in/rupeemail/invite.do?in=NTc1NjU5JSMlYmNVczVhemhJbTBYSEd5V2xOTzc2M0JqaQ==

ph. contacts

sana khan
9930160343





studio dj
00912224472322
Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!






src="http://www.podbean.com/podcast-audio-video-blog-player/mp3playerdarksmallv3.swf?audioPath=http://www.toolshed-media.com/ts/the-charlatans-uk-blackened-eyes.mp3&autoStart=no" quality="high" width="210" height="25" name="mp3playerdarksmallv3" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />



<% BOARD HEADER %>






src="http://www.podbean.com/podcast-audio-video-blog-player/mp3playerdarksmallv3.swf?audioPath=http://www.toolshed-media.com/ts/the-charlatans-uk-blackened-eyes.mp3&autoStart=no" quality="high" width="210" height="25" name="mp3playerdarksmallv3" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" />



<% BOARD HEADER %>

music player

data="http://yourdomain.com/xspf_player.swf?playlist_url=http://yourdomain.com/yourplaylistlist.xspf">
value="http://yourdomain.com/xspf_player.swf?playlist_url=http://yourdomain.com/yourplaylistlist.xspf" />

one cute blog

Santa Banta SMS:

Accident took place. Crowd gathered. Sardar reporter couldnt get in. Clever Santa Singh cried Mera bapu. Crowd made way 4him bt it was a donkeys accident.

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you...... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.

American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email. Santa: In India, it is only with a female.

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?

Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.

Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.



santa singh

Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, 'Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?' To this the man replies,
' Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,'Wash Basin'.


Santa Singh Buying a color TV

Santa Singh went to Future shop and ask the sales agent "Do you sell color TV?'
Sales Agent goes "Yes we do".
Santa Singh go then "Give me a Green One"


santa banta 11

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to SANTA: Any great man born in this

village?

SANTA: no sir, only small Babies!!!

santa banta 10

SANTA enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?

Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saabâ?o
SANTA : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.



A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."

Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!!

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.
"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.
" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one
runner.
"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"
Exclaimed the Sardar

A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister....

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table &
says - What a shit ?
"I read the whole book, too many character, no story
at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone
Directory....


What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..?
Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays.

What Is The Height Of Stupidity? 2 Sardarjies Sitting On A Motorcycle & Fighting For A Window Seat

Answering Machine Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

Shitty Santa

Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around.

He says, "Hey, you shit your pants?"

Santa says, "No."

He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around.

He then says, "Are you sure you did not shit your pants?"

Santa, "Yes, I am sure."

They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Santa is swatting the flys away. Banta stops his horse and gets off his horse. He then says, "Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did not shit your pants?"

Santa replies, "I thought you meant today!"

Santa and Banta

Banta Singh saw an exhausted Santa Singh running up to him.
What happened to you Santaji?"
"There was this nasty big bull in my street that nearly killed me today."
"Oh really, what happened?"
"I was just walking quietly wearing this red shirt, when the animal came charging at me like a locomotive!He almost got me!"
"So, how'd you get away?"
"Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."
"That"s scary Santaji. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place."
"Oye! I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?"





JOKE IN ONE WORD:- SARDAR
JOKE IN TWO WORDS:- INTELLIGENT SARDAR
JOKE IN THREE WORDS:- SARDAR PLAYING CHESS
JOKE IN FOUR WORDS:- SARDAR WON THE GAME.


Preeto

Preeto :- Tuhade ghar nalo te mere pake wale change ne mai te tuhade ghar bartan v apne peke ton la ke ayi c ..

Santa :- aho ise layi har bartana te likhiea GURUDWARA SINGH SABHA .

‘Pussy cat Pussy cat, where have you been?’
‘I have been to London to see the Queen’
‘Pussy cat Pussy cat what did you there?’
‘I frightened a little mouse under the chair!’

Punjabi Translation:

‘Mano Billi, Mano Billi, kithe gai si?’
‘Rani Ji nu milan main vilayat gai si’
‘Ki chan chareya tu othe ja ke?’
‘Ghar wapis aa gai main chuhe kha ke!’

II – Original

‘Baa Baa Black sheep have you any wool?’
‘Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full
One for the master, one for the dame, And one for the
little boy who lives
down the lane.’

Punjabi Translation:

‘Kali Bhed, Kali Bhed, hai kucch unn?’
‘Haan bhai,Haan bhai, Tin pandan gin, Ek tere waste,
ek teri woti lai Ek us
munde lai jehra khara raste’.

III – Original

Humphty Dumphty sat on a wall,
Humphty Dumphty had a great fall,
All the kings’ horses, all the kings’ men Couldn’t put
Humphty Dumphty
together again

Punjabi Translation:

Baba Karnail Singh baitha si Dukaan te’
Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir
aa ke kehan lagge,
Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se.

Teri yaad nu bura kyun kahiye,
jehri har pal saath nibhaundi ae,
tere naalo ta teri yaad hi changi,
jehri haale v saanu milan aundi ae.

Dukh dil vich luko ke hanju naina vich pro k,
tere aan di udeek asi layi baithe ha,
kar tu Yaqen, sanu bhul jaan waleya asi tere piche duniya bhulai baithe ha.

“Mainu jala deo bhaven daba deo,
jadon mar javan.Ik ghoott mere bullan nu la deo,
mein tajmahal nahi mangda o loko.
bas meri kabr te ik THEKKA khula deo.

Hanjoo Paani Nahi,
Ki Jad Marji Rod Dita.
Pyar Karja Nahi,
Ki Jad Marji Mod Dita.
Kaash Ohne Vi Samjheya Hunda,
Ki Dil Sheesha Nahi Jad Marji Tod Dita.

Pyaar saada dovan da sacha c yaara,
pr is pyar nu assi kade jta na sake..
krde rahe intzaar assi ik duje da..
oh bula na sake te assi ja na sake..

Jo assar hai akh di maar ander
oh na teer te na talwaar andar
ohna Rab nu labh ke ki lena
Jinna paa leya Rab nu yaar ander.

Sohne sohne nain-naksh usde
vekhan waale bada pasand karde
sade naal kare oh pyar hass ke
eho jiha Rabba koi parband kar de
sanu vi sohna bana Rabba
nahi taan sohne banaane band kar de.

Ishq ishq ta har koi karde,
par koi Channa( A River) wich koodan nu tyaar nahi,
ki kahiye ajj-kal de jhuthe aashiqa nu,
Dil de sakde ne par jaan nahi.

Assi maut rok rakhi te tera intzaar kita,
Sajna tere jhuthe laareya da aitbaar kita,
Assi jaan den lageya ek pal vi na layeya,
te tussi jaan len lageya vi nakhra hajaar kita!!

Padna-likhna chad pare,
Nakal te rakh aas,
chak Rajai te So jaa bhagta,
Rabb karuga paas!!!

Je Saadi Nahin c Tu ho Sakna ,
Kaahnu Pyaar Enna Fer Payeya c
Je Inj hi Rulaana c Varne ,
Kahano Saanu Fer Tu hasaya c

Dear friend, jane anjane ch je main kade tera dil dukhaya hove, tng kita hove ja fir kuj hor jo v kita us lyi…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Tere to j v hunda kar lai
















baniya


A Baniya had a parrot named Mitthu; that was very clever and witty. However the Parrot's foul mouth had let to a considerable loss of business for the Baniya. The parrot wouldn't spare anyone, with his -maa- -bahen- ki galis***. The Baniya decides to get rid of the Parrot, as business has taken a turn for the worse. He advertises "a smart and witty talking Parrot for sale", but omits the colorful language the bird is capable of.
The next day The Baniya tell the parrrot, that there is a very distinguished lady coming to the shop to take a look at him, and that he should be at his best behavior. Around mid-day a car stops in front of the shop and a middle aged lady gets out. The parrot Mithu says to the Baniya: "Babuji Yeh to Gashti hai" (She's a slut, babuji).
The shopkeeper reprimands the Parrot and tell him that if his foul mouth stall the sale; he'd cook him up for dinner that evening. The lady comes to shop and says....."mai sunya hai ke thoude kol toata for sale hai, kuch aur dasso na" (I believe you have a parrot for sale, can you give me some more info).
Baniya: "eh dekiye ji toata, beautiful bird, te bolda bhi hai".
Lady : "accha bolda bhi hai, ki bolda hai"?
Baniya: "aji je tuse isda bayaan phang chakko tai English bolda hai.... ....... Dehna phang chakko-tai Urdu wich bolda hai..... ..... dehni laat chakko- tai Malyalayam bolda hai...... .... Bayeen laat chakko- to Bangali bolta hai.... (If you lift his left wing- he speaks English, Urdu if you lift the right. Malayalam if you lift the right leg, Bengali if you lift the left )
Lady: "accha! (she's excited) Jay main dono lattan chak dava taan? (and if I lift both legs)
The witty parrot can't resist and butts in "mene dasseya se na babuji .... eh GASHTI hai". (I told you she's a slut).


Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,

3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga

Kanjoos Baniya

1st baniya - i m so kanjoos i went alone honeymoon & saved half money,

2nd baniya - u r nothing, i saved all money, i sent my wife with my friend.

Baniya: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de


Baniya's BOY :- master ji mei apke liye dhoodh laya hu. -MASTER JI Doodh pee kar bole :- Bohot sawaad hai, kaha se layay..? -Baniya's BOY :- Ghar mei para tha, Billi mooh maar gayi thi, is liye apke liye le aya. --:: MASTER JI ne khaali dabba udha kar fenk diya. -BOY SAID :- Daba mat fenko master ji.. subah Jungle Paani bhi jana hota hai.



Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne mombatti jala di Baahar jaate hue bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to mombatti bujha dena




Half Baniya & Half African

Little Ramu came home from school one day slightly confused.
His father was a Baniya and his mother was a native of Kenya.
So Ramu says, "Mum, am I more Baniya or more of a African?"
"What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him.
So Ramu's father gets home from work and Ramu asks the same question,
"Dad, am I more Baniya or more of a African?"
"What kind of a question is that, does it really matter?
Why do you want to know if you're more Baniya or more of a African?" asks his dad.
"Well, it's like this dad. A boy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for 50 bucks.
I don't know whether to talk him down to 25, or wait till it's dark and just steal the stupid thing!"