baniya

A Baniya had a parrot named Mitthu; that was very clever and witty. However the Parrot's foul mouth had let to a considerable loss of business for the Baniya. The parrot wouldn't spare anyone, with his -maa- -bahen- ki galis***. The Baniya decides to get rid of the Parrot, as business has taken a turn for the worse. He advertises "a smart and witty talking Parrot for sale", but omits the colorful language the bird is capable of.
The next day The Baniya tell the parrrot, that there is a very distinguished lady coming to the shop to take a look at him, and that he should be at his best behavior. Around mid-day a car stops in front of the shop and a middle aged lady gets out. The parrot Mithu says to the Baniya: "Babuji Yeh to Gashti hai" (She's a slut, babuji).
The shopkeeper reprimands the Parrot and tell him that if his foul mouth stall the sale; he'd cook him up for dinner that evening. The lady comes to shop and says....."mai sunya hai ke thoude kol toata for sale hai, kuch aur dasso na" (I believe you have a parrot for sale, can you give me some more info).
Baniya: "eh dekiye ji toata, beautiful bird, te bolda bhi hai".
Lady : "accha bolda bhi hai, ki bolda hai"?
Baniya: "aji je tuse isda bayaan phang chakko tai English bolda hai.... ....... Dehna phang chakko-tai Urdu wich bolda hai..... ..... dehni laat chakko- tai Malyalayam bolda hai...... .... Bayeen laat chakko- to Bangali bolta hai.... (If you lift his left wing- he speaks English, Urdu if you lift the right. Malayalam if you lift the right leg, Bengali if you lift the left )
Lady: "accha! (she's excited) Jay main dono lattan chak dava taan? (and if I lift both legs)
The witty parrot can't resist and butts in "mene dasseya se na babuji .... eh GASHTI hai". (I told you she's a slut).

Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,

3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga

Kanjoos Baniya

1st baniya - i m so kanjoos i went alone honeymoon & saved half money,

2nd baniya - u r nothing, i saved all money, i sent my wife with my friend.

Baniya: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de

Baniya's BOY :- master ji mei apke liye dhoodh laya hu. -MASTER JI Doodh pee kar bole :- Bohot sawaad hai, kaha se layay..? -Baniya's BOY :- Ghar mei para tha, Billi mooh maar gayi thi, is liye apke liye le aya. --:: MASTER JI ne khaali dabba udha kar fenk diya. -BOY SAID :- Daba mat fenko master ji.. subah Jungle Paani bhi jana hota hai.

Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne mombatti jala di Baahar jaate hue bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to mombatti bujha dena

Half Baniya & Half African Little Ramu came home from school one day slightly confused. His father was a Baniya and his mother was a native of Kenya. So Ramu says, "Mum, am I more Baniya or more of a African?" "What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him. So Ramu's father gets home from work and Ramu asks the same question, "Dad, am I more Baniya or more of a African?" "What kind of a question is that, does it really matter? Why do you want to know if you're more Baniya or more of a African?" asks his dad. "Well, it's like this dad. A boy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for 50 bucks. I don't know whether to talk him down to 25, or wait till it's dark and just steal the stupid thing!"