Collection of My Punjabi SMS

Santa Banta SMS:

Accident took place. Crowd gathered. Sardar reporter couldnt get in. Clever Santa Singh cried Mera bapu. Crowd made way 4him bt it was a donkeys accident.

Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.

Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you...... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.

American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email. Santa: In India, it is only with a female.

Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?

Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.

Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'

Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

santa singh Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, 'Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?' To this the man replies, ' Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,'Wash Basin'. Santa Singh Buying a color TV Santa Singh went to Future shop and ask the sales agent "Do you sell color TV?' Sales Agent goes "Yes we do". Santa Singh go then "Give me a Green One" santa banta 11 One tourist from U.S.A. asked to SANTA: Any great man born in this village? SANTA: no sir, only small Babies!!! santa banta 10 SANTA enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil? Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saabâ?o SANTA : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE. A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear." "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?" "The scoundrel called back." Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? A: Because below 18 was not allowed !!! One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race. "What the guys are doing" asked the sardar. " We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one runner. "Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!" Exclaimed the Sardar A sardarji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister.... One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village??? Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!! Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit ? "I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?. Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory.... What is Common between : Krishna, Ram, Gandhiji & Jesus..? Sardar ji Replied : All are Born on Government Holidays. What Is The Height Of Stupidity? 2 Sardarjies Sitting On A Motorcycle & Fighting For A Window Seat Answering Machine Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home. Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai." Shitty Santa Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says, "Hey, you shit your pants?" Santa says, "No." He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around. He then says, "Are you sure you did not shit your pants?" Santa, "Yes, I am sure." They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Santa is swatting the flys away. Banta stops his horse and gets off his horse. He then says, "Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did not shit your pants?" Santa replies, "I thought you meant today!" Santa and Banta Banta Singh saw an exhausted Santa Singh running up to him. What happened to you Santaji?" "There was this nasty big bull in my street that nearly killed me today." "Oh really, what happened?" "I was just walking quietly wearing this red shirt, when the animal came charging at me like a locomotive!He almost got me!" "So, how'd you get away?" "Well the bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over." "That"s scary Santaji. If it'd been me, I would probably have shit all over the place." "Oye! I DID! What do you think the bull was slipping on?" JOKE IN ONE WORD:- SARDAR JOKE IN TWO WORDS:- INTELLIGENT SARDAR JOKE IN THREE WORDS:- SARDAR PLAYING CHESS JOKE IN FOUR WORDS:- SARDAR WON THE GAME. Preeto Preeto :- Tuhade ghar nalo te mere pake wale change ne mai te tuhade ghar bartan v apne peke ton la ke ayi c .. Santa :- aho ise layi har bartana te likhiea GURUDWARA SINGH SABHA . ‘Pussy cat Pussy cat, where have you been?’ ‘I have been to London to see the Queen’ ‘Pussy cat Pussy cat what did you there?’ ‘I frightened a little mouse under the chair!’ Punjabi Translation: ‘Mano Billi, Mano Billi, kithe gai si?’ ‘Rani Ji nu milan main vilayat gai si’ ‘Ki chan chareya tu othe ja ke?’ ‘Ghar wapis aa gai main chuhe kha ke!’ II – Original ‘Baa Baa Black sheep have you any wool?’ ‘Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full One for the master, one for the dame, And one for the little boy who lives down the lane.’ Punjabi Translation: ‘Kali Bhed, Kali Bhed, hai kucch unn?’ ‘Haan bhai,Haan bhai, Tin pandan gin, Ek tere waste, ek teri woti lai Ek us munde lai jehra khara raste’. III – Original Humphty Dumphty sat on a wall, Humphty Dumphty had a great fall, All the kings’ horses, all the kings’ men Couldn’t put Humphty Dumphty together again Punjabi Translation: Baba Karnail Singh baitha si Dukaan te’ Baba Karnail Singh diggya dhadam se, Pind de log phir aa ke kehan lagge, Baba Karnail Singh te gaya hun kaam se. Sun 1 Nov 2009 Collection of My Punjabi SMS Posted by Rahul under Punjabi Jokes , Punjabi Shayari No Comments Teri yaad nu bura kyun kahiye, jehri har pal saath nibhaundi ae, tere naalo ta teri yaad hi changi, jehri haale v saanu milan aundi ae. Dukh dil vich luko ke hanju naina vich pro k, tere aan di udeek asi layi baithe ha, kar tu Yaqen, sanu bhul jaan waleya asi tere piche duniya bhulai baithe ha. “Mainu jala deo bhaven daba deo, jadon mar javan.Ik ghoott mere bullan nu la deo, mein tajmahal nahi mangda o loko. bas meri kabr te ik THEKKA khula deo. Hanjoo Paani Nahi, Ki Jad Marji Rod Dita. Pyar Karja Nahi, Ki Jad Marji Mod Dita. Kaash Ohne Vi Samjheya Hunda, Ki Dil Sheesha Nahi Jad Marji Tod Dita. Pyaar saada dovan da sacha c yaara, pr is pyar nu assi kade jta na sake.. krde rahe intzaar assi ik duje da.. oh bula na sake te assi ja na sake.. Sun 1 Nov 2009 Punjabi SMS Posted by Rahul under Punjabi Jokes No Comments Jo assar hai akh di maar ander oh na teer te na talwaar andar ohna Rab nu labh ke ki lena Jinna paa leya Rab nu yaar ander. Sohne sohne nain-naksh usde vekhan waale bada pasand karde sade naal kare oh pyar hass ke eho jiha Rabba koi parband kar de sanu vi sohna bana Rabba nahi taan sohne banaane band kar de. Ishq ishq ta har koi karde, par koi Channa( A River) wich koodan nu tyaar nahi, ki kahiye ajj-kal de jhuthe aashiqa nu, Dil de sakde ne par jaan nahi. Mon 4 Aug 2008 Punjabi Jokes Posted by Rahul under Punjabi Jokes Comments Off Assi maut rok rakhi te tera intzaar kita, Sajna tere jhuthe laareya da aitbaar kita, Assi jaan den lageya ek pal vi na layeya, te tussi jaan len lageya vi nakhra hajaar kita!! Padna-likhna chad pare, Nakal te rakh aas, chak Rajai te So jaa bhagta, Rabb karuga paas!!! Je Saadi Nahin c Tu ho Sakna , Kaahnu Pyaar Enna Fer Payeya c Je Inj hi Rulaana c Varne , Kahano Saanu Fer Tu hasaya c Dear friend, jane anjane ch je main kade tera dil dukhaya hove, tng kita hove ja fir kuj hor jo v kita us lyi… . . . . . . . . Tere to j v hunda kar lai