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Accident took place. Crowd gathered. Sardar reporter couldnt get in. Clever Santa Singh cried Mera bapu. Crowd made way 4him bt it was a donkeys accident.
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said Im 1yr elder to you...... Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.
American: In our country , marriage even takes place with email. Santa: In India, it is only with a female.
Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
Banta: J tu dasde ki is bag vich ki hai tan sare ande tere, j tu dasde kine ne tan 8 de 8 tere, te j tu dasde ki kidhe ne tan oh murgi v teri.
Santa: Koi hint?
Santa suffering from constipation, sitting on toilet seat: Ooonh, oooonh, oohh.... nee aaja marjaniye main tenu khan ta ni laga.
Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth.
A: Because Doctor has advised him: 'Aaj Light Khana hai!'
Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...
Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.
| santa singh Santa goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, 'Prahji, aap kya kar rahe ho?' To this the man replies, ' Oye, tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai,'Wash Basin'.
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baniya
A Baniya had a parrot named Mitthu; that was very clever and witty. However the Parrot's foul mouth had let to a considerable loss of business for the Baniya. The parrot wouldn't spare anyone, with his -maa- -bahen- ki galis***. The Baniya decides to get rid of the Parrot, as business has taken a turn for the worse. He advertises "a smart and witty talking Parrot for sale", but omits the colorful language the bird is capable of.
The next day The Baniya tell the parrrot, that there is a very distinguished lady coming to the shop to take a look at him, and that he should be at his best behavior. Around mid-day a car stops in front of the shop and a middle aged lady gets out. The parrot Mithu says to the Baniya: "Babuji Yeh to Gashti hai" (She's a slut, babuji).
The shopkeeper reprimands the Parrot and tell him that if his foul mouth stall the sale; he'd cook him up for dinner that evening. The lady comes to shop and says....."mai sunya hai ke thoude kol toata for sale hai, kuch aur dasso na" (I believe you have a parrot for sale, can you give me some more info).
Baniya: "eh dekiye ji toata, beautiful bird, te bolda bhi hai".
Lady : "accha bolda bhi hai, ki bolda hai"?
Baniya: "aji je tuse isda bayaan phang chakko tai English bolda hai.... ....... Dehna phang chakko-tai Urdu wich bolda hai..... ..... dehni laat chakko- tai Malyalayam bolda hai...... .... Bayeen laat chakko- to Bangali bolta hai.... (If you lift his left wing- he speaks English, Urdu if you lift the right. Malayalam if you lift the right leg, Bengali if you lift the left )
Lady: "accha! (she's excited) Jay main dono lattan chak dava taan? (and if I lift both legs)
The witty parrot can't resist and butts in "mene dasseya se na babuji .... eh GASHTI hai". (I told you she's a slut).
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga
Kanjoos Baniya
1st baniya - i m so kanjoos i went alone honeymoon & saved half money,
2nd baniya - u r nothing, i saved all money, i sent my wife with my friend.
Baniya: Yeh kela(banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de
Baniya's BOY :- master ji mei apke liye dhoodh laya hu. -MASTER JI Doodh pee kar bole :- Bohot sawaad hai, kaha se layay..? -Baniya's BOY :- Ghar mei para tha, Billi mooh maar gayi thi, is liye apke liye le aya. --:: MASTER JI ne khaali dabba udha kar fenk diya. -BOY SAID :- Daba mat fenko master ji.. subah Jungle Paani bhi jana hota hai.
Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne mombatti jala di Baahar jaate hue bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to mombatti bujha dena
Half Baniya & Half African
Little Ramu came home from school one day slightly confused.
His father was a Baniya and his mother was a native of Kenya.
So Ramu says, "Mum, am I more Baniya or more of a African?"
"What does it really matter? You'll just have to ask your father", his mother tells him.
So Ramu's father gets home from work and Ramu asks the same question,
"Dad, am I more Baniya or more of a African?"
"What kind of a question is that, does it really matter?
Why do you want to know if you're more Baniya or more of a African?" asks his dad.
"Well, it's like this dad. A boy down the street wants to sell his bicycle for 50 bucks.
I don't know whether to talk him down to 25, or wait till it's dark and just steal the stupid thing!"
